


Old Wounds

by Wolfslick6007



Series: DND/Fantasy AU [2]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: All trigger warnings are before each chapter, Anne goes by Shadow for most (if not all) of this, Anne’s injury took place in “A Shadow on the Wall”, Araleyn is more minor, DND/Fantasy AU, F/F, Language, Someone get these queens therapy, but she’s still here!, but this is about injuries so be warned for that right off the bat, especially in this AU, so sadly she won’t have a chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:40:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27788392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfslick6007/pseuds/Wolfslick6007
Summary: The queens are on a dangerous quest. One involving monsters, people, demons, and even magic.They knew this would happen.OR: five times one of the queens gained serious injuries during their quest.
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Catherine of Aragon, Anne of Cleves/Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Series: DND/Fantasy AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033053
Comments: 26
Kudos: 50





	1. Catalina

**Author's Note:**

> Catalina: Human paladin  
> Anne: shadow elf rouge  
> Jane: elf cleric  
> Anna: Human barbarian  
> Kat: elf bard  
> Cathy: Human Wizard
> 
> It’s very recommended that you read “A Shadow on the Wall” before reading this! That story has context for a lot of backstory here!
> 
> This story might get a little dark seeing how it concerns injuries and the like, I was actually pretty anxious to post this. But here it is! And I want to make it clear for anyone thrown off by the warnings or who may get triggered that this story is not necessary for A Shadow on the Wall or any of the oneshots that might come out for this AU!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a quick run through a town’s market for supplies. But then a girl gained the anger of the town’s leader, a tyrant unafraid of violence.
> 
> And well... Catalina couldn’t simply stand by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are all flashbacks, so to speak, taking place before Anne gets freed form her curse.
> 
> TWs: flogging/whipping, blood/violence, vomit, self-esteem issues (feeling weak/fear of abandonment)

It was rather early in the quest. Perhaps a month or two in, maybe longer than that.

But the queens reached a town that seemed rather… nervous, to say the least.

People were quiet, subdued. Merchants sold their goods without a word other than price, families stuck close together. Guards were on constant patrol.

The queens didn’t know that the mayor was a tyrant. Enforcing rules and his power through flogging, bearings, and other tortures.

The plan was to get gear and leave as soon as possible. So the five (six) queens wandered through the marketplace, picking up food and other important items.

“Should we get some apples?” Kat asked Catalina. The other queens were scattered through the marketplace as well, Jane and Anna at another stall and Cathy and Shadow at another.

“It wouldn’t hurt.” Catalina shrugged, pulling out some coins. Kat grinned and picked out an apple to snack on before helping Catalina pick out a few more.

“I’m going to go help Shadow pull Cathy away from the books.” Kat said, taking a bite from the apple as they walked away, laughing as she noticed exactly what stall the wizard and her shadow were standing at.

Catalina shook her head fondly. “Honestly, that girl’s thirst for knowledge…” Kat giggled at the line before making her way over.

Catalina made her way to a stall selling jewelry, keeping an eye on her fellow queens in the process. Her eyes moved further down the road in wariness upon hearing a commotion.

A well-dressed man, the mayor, was walking through the marketplace. Attendants and guards were at his sides.

People parted quickly, practically scrambling out of the man’s way. He held his head high, smirking at the sight as he walked through with his attendants and guards.

Suddenly, a little girl came rushing through, she had items in her hands and was occupied trying to hold them. She didn’t notice the man.

Nor did she notice the small crack in the stone road.

The little girl tripped, dropping all of the objects and falling straight in front of the man’s path. The girl seemed to notice the sudden shadow over her and looked up, squeaking in fear at the man.

The man, the mayor, was glaring down at the girl, as if tripping was the worst offense.

“Move out of the leader’s way.” One of the attendants said, their eyes just as frightened as the girl’s. In fact, everyone has frozen, looking petrified.

The girl moved to scramble to her feet, gathering up the objects. But before she could grab one, the mayor put his foot on it, leaning down to glare at the girl. “Tell me, brat, why did you get in my path? You know the rules.”

The girl was trembling, tears beginning to gather in her eyes. “I… I tripped!”

“And now you forget to address me as sir.” The man huffed before a twisted smirk appeared on his face. “Perhaps a punishment is in order.”

Gazes widened in horror and it was one of the mayor's attendants who spoke up quietly. “Sir, on a child?”

“Questioning me?” The attendant shook his head rapidly and the mayor nodded. “Good. I punish anyone who crosses me. A shame this child had to do so. Take her to the jail.”

Two guards stepped forward, looking like they wanted to be anywhere else. And that was all Catalina needed to see.

Catalina swept forward, pulling the child behind her and pulling her shield to rest on her arm. The child clutched onto her and the mayor seemed shocked by the interference.

“What the hell?” He gaped at her. “What are you doing?!”

Catalina lifted her chin, glaring at him. “It seems I am protecting a child from a bully.”

The mayor growled before pointing at her. “Do you know who I am?! I pull the strings here and I will have that child punished!”

It was that second that the other queens appeared, halting behind Catalina. The child’s mother appeared as well, pulling the girl into a protective hold and willingly letting the queens form a barrier.

“Punishing a child for falling? You really are a simple bully.” Catalina huffed.

“I get to punish anyone who crosses me!”

The town’s people around them all flinched at the notion. The notion that had clearly been enforced before.

No one said a word before the man’s eyes lit up with an idea. “I propose a deal.”

Catalina presses herself taller, keeping her glare on him. “Oh?”

“You take the girl’s place in punishment. After all, you so rudely interrupted.”

Jane was leaning forward, urgently grabbing Catalina’s arm. All of this had happened in the span of a few seconds. “Catalina…”

The paladin kept her gaze firmly on the mayor, the tyrant. A beat passed.

The mayor sneered at her. “It’s you or the girl.”

Catalina glanced at the weeping girl in her mother’s arms, both staring at her wide eyed with terror. She took in the faces of the other queens and Shadow. They looked beyond panic and anger. If Catalina was to give herself up, it wouldn’t be easy to interfere.

But Catalina was a protector. And she would not allow this tyrant to punish a child for simply tripping in his path.

So she met his eyes with determination.

“Do what you will with me.”

~~||~~||~~

Catalina spent the night in the jail cell.

They took her armor, weapons, and supplies away, leaving her only in the simple shirt she wore under all her armor and leather. That night, she simply prayed to the gods, wondering what would happen the next day.

(It was already hard enough without the uncertainty. She remembered the time she had been imprisoned before, after Arthur’s death.)

No matter how strong she tried to seem, it didn’t stop the twinge of anxiety. For herself, what were they going to do to her? For the other queens too, were they alright? What about the girl, was she safe now?

Two guards got her in the morning, practically dragging her to the stage set up in the square. And that was when Catalina realized what would happen upon spotting what exactly was on that stage.

A whipping post.

They quickly got her situated, pulling her shirt off and cuffing her to the post. Catalina simply surveyed the large crowd. Probably there against their will, if Catalina had the mayor right.

The queens were in the very back. Catalina locked eyes with all of them. Fury and even fear was in their eyes. They knew what would happen too.

The mayor stood off to the side, watching with a triumphant smirk. Catalina locked eyes, keeping her gaze cold. If anything, that smirk got wider.

An announcer stood next to her now, a paper in hand. A guard, one that actually looked to enjoy doing the mayor's bidding, stood with the weapon in hand.

“For opposing our leader, this woman is sentenced to twenty five lashes.” The announcer droned, reading from the paper.

(“I’m going to kill him.” Anna had growled after the number was announced. Her cool demeanor was gone, her rare anger in full force.

“You aren’t the only one.” Cathy had hissed, Shadow looking just as agitated.

Jane was fingering her rapier, only a transparent sliver of mental string keeping her temper from snapping and Kat was eyeing the guards, fully ready to fight her way through anyways.)

And then, the guard began his strikes.

Catalina had been preparing herself (could you even prepare yourself for something like this? She wondered), but this hurt much more than she expected. And when she felt a gash left behind on her skin instead of a bright red mark from the very first lash, she knew magic had been thrown into the mix as well.

Blood was dripping down her back as more gashes were left behind. Her back burned and ached with a pain Catalina had never felt before. White hot agony burned into her and Catalina couldn’t stop the cries that began to echo from her lips. She still refused to cry, biting the cries down to shouts and refusing to let the hot tears fall.

But it wasn’t easy.

Really, the pain was indescribable. It was agony, that was the best way to describe it, and twenty five lashes later left her slumped against the post, huffing and drawing deep, shuddered breaths through the pain. Sweat dripped down her skin and blood down her back as the pain only remained behind, the intensity refusing to fade.

Catalina squeezed her eyes shut, now unable to stop the tears from mingling with the sweat. The pain began to take a bigger effect, leading to her blacking in and out of consciousness.

The man grabbed Catalina by the jaw, pulling her pained gaze up to meet his eyes. “Apologize.” He growled, squeezing.

“No.” Catalina managed to rasp out through the pain and the hand.

He shook his head with a disappointed sigh, letting go and watching as Catalina’s head slumped again. “Then you get all of today to think about it.”

He turned to the crowd. “It seems she needs more time to think upon her actions! If I see anyone trying to free this bitch, then you will be joining her!”

And so, Catalina stayed kneeling, still cuffed to the post. She remained that way all day, through the blistering heat and the cloud of pain.

She blacked in and out, the stinging agony racing up and down her back serving to knock her out only to wake her up again moments later.

And it was only when night fell, when the heat gave way to a cold chill, that Catalina finally slept.

Only to be woken up by a small hand resting on her shoulder.

It was pitch black, no guards around and silent. A shape was in front of Catalina but she couldn’t figure out who it was through the haze and darkness.

“I brought you some food and water!” She managed to make out.

The scent of soup and bread, both warm hit Catalina’s nose and she woke up further, her stomach growling with hunger after not eating all day and the last half of yesterday. It was only then that she registered who was in front of her.

The girl?

“You need… to go.” Catalina slurred out, giving a wary glance around the area for guards.

The girl frowned at the notion, not moving form where she sat right next to Catalina. “You need to eat something!”

“No. This is dangerous.” Catalina protested weakly, but the girl was already dipping a chunk of bread into the soup.

“Please?” The girl pleaded. “You… you saved me from this…”

Catalina stared for a moment.

The girl looked so hopeful that she could do something. She looked so guilty. Catalina couldn’t say no to that. And well… not to food either.

So she opened her mouth, letting her body untense and her eyes close. She heard a happy gasp from the girl and Catalina couldn’t stop the happy hum upon tasting the bread and soup.

(Neither child nor queen noticed the shadow watching the both of them from a distance. The shadow that clenched it’s fists angrily at the sight of Catalina. The shadow that softened upon seeing the child’s actions.)

After eating, they sat there for a minute. Catalina cracked open her eyes upon hearing a small sob.

“I’m sorry…” The girl mumbled, casting her gaze to the floor. “I didn’t…”

Catalina shook her head, wincing at the jolt it sent down her back before simply resting her face against the post again. “Wasn’t… your fault…”

The girl smiled, but it was shaky. “It’s okay… hey! I can tell you a story to help you get some sleep!”

Catalina didn’t have the power to resist anyways as the girl began to tell a story. Some kind of fairy tale Catalina faintly recognized.

Be it through the story, pain and exhaustion, or the cold, Catalina finally went unconscious.

~~||~~||~~

Only for her to wake up to water.

The freezing liquid had been splashed over her face. Catalina coughed and sputtered in response.

Some of the water had reached her back, resparking the pain she had gained a momentary relief from in that blacked out state.

It was morning, the town was regathered and watching with that same pity that made Catalina want to scream just as the whip did.

But then, Catalina managed to notice something. Her companions weren’t there.

Catalina froze upon noticing that. None of them were there. Where had they gone? Had they left her here?

Was… was she alone again?

Alone and doomed to endure this pain forever?

Catalina almost spiraled. Mental and physical agony swirling together to form a terrifying concoction.

But then the mayor leaned in front of her, grabbing her face by the jaw for a second time and forcing her to look at him. Catalina managed to glare in defiance. But that glare was overshadowed by the pain and exhaustion that showed in her eyes.

“Well? Do you apologize?” The mayor asked.

Catalina spit on him.

He pulled back with a hiss, one of his attendants giving him a cloth. His eyes welled up with fury and Catalina couldn’t stop the satisfied smirk that reached her face despite everything.

“Give me the whip! I’ve had enough of this bitch.” The man snarled, now behind her.

Catalina almost drifted off again, the pain creating a haze in her mind. The cold chill hit her skin and the water from before simply made her colder.

Then, the whip hit her back.

The paladin practically howled in pain, the unexpected hit taking her off guard in her half unconscious state. But this hit was stronger than yesterday’s, filled with a fury that she knew came from the mayor. Did he put even more magic behind his hit?

Two. Three. Four.

All in a quick succession that didn’t stop for a second. The sheer agony finally led to Catalina sobbing and crying out. The mayor seemed gleeful at the show of pain and if anything, the strikes only became more harsher than Catalina thought possible.

Her friends weren’t here. There was no one left to be strong for.

Five. Six. Seven.

She wanted it to stop. She wanted the pain to stop and her friends to come back for her. The physical pain was indescribable at this point, white hot flashes of pure agony that numbed her to everything around her besides that pain.

And then suddenly, the whip stopped.

Anna of Cleves stared back at the mayor, the whip having been caught in her gloved hand. She was beyond furious. With one tug, the whip came from the mayor’s frozen hand.

Anna glanced over her shoulder to the carnage on Catalina’s back before glaring at the mayor again.

“You’re fucked.” Anna hissed. None of the queens had ever heard Catalina scream. And this bastard in front of her had hurt one of the people she cares about most to the point of haunting screams.

The Mayor regained his composure, glaring back at her. “Who are you to interfere?!”

“Her family. A member of a very pissed off family.” Anna growled, fingering her axe.

The mayor twitched, fear entering his gaze before he spun to stare at the guards. “What are you waiting for?! Get her!”

The many guards stepped forward, and that was when chaos erupted. Cathy and Jane leapt from the crowd, Kat emerging from an alleyway. Battle broke out in seconds.

While the others moved towards the mayor and guards, Cathy darted over to Catalina, Shadow just as urgent.

“Madrina!”

Cathy leant down in front of Catalina, caressing her godmother’s cheek. The paladin squinted open her eyes, inhaling and exhaling shuddered breaths.

“... Mija…?” The woman croaked out, half unconscious.

“That’s right, you’re safe.” Cathy began to undo the cuffs, the keys in hand. “I’m going to get you out of here.”

“You didn’t leave…” Catalina mumbled, eyes closed again.

Cathy didn’t pause, only giving a quick glance to see that the townspeople had joined the fighting as well. They had effectively caused a rebellion. “We will never leave you. We’re family.”

The cuffs came undone and Cathy carefully pulled Catalina to rest on her stomach instead of against the post.

Cathy grit her teeth as she stared at Catalina’s mangled back. It wasn’t safe here and they needed help, but Catalina couldn’t be left alone.

Shadow had been staring, vibrating in her fury. She knew it wasn’t safe either. She took a deep breath. What did she do for Kat when she pulled her in?

The next thing Cathy knew, Shadow had managed to pull Catalina into the shadows with her. Cathy processed it for a second before climbing to her feet, blasting away a guard that had finally noticed her.

“Keep her safe, Shadow.”

With that, Cathy was helping finish the fight, Shadow and Catalina safe in her shadow.

It didn’t take long, the townspeople overwhelming the guards. Two people had the mayor pinned down and the queens left the town to it, rushing over to Cathy and Shadow.

It took a moment to carefully pull Catalina from Shadow’s embrace and up into their own. For one thing, Shadow didn’t seem to want to let go. And for another, they had to quite literally pull Catalina from the ground.

But Anna and Kat soon held her between them, carefully avoiding her back, as a woman urgently rushed over to them.

“Come with me, I can help with your friend.”

Catalina’s head lolled and her feet were dragged across the floor as the two held her close between them. The woman led them to a house and was practically slamming open the door.

“Put her down here!” The woman ordered them, hurriedly cleaning off the table.

Anna and Kat were swiftly lowering the paladin down on her stomach.

The woman was grabbing a rag and lukewarm water, preparing to clean the blood from Catalina’s back.

She began to place the cloth down on the wounds. But the paladin cried out and began to thrash.

Catalina’s arm went upwards, her fist slamming into the woman’s jaw. The healer yelped and went sprawling to the floor. Catalina yelled as the movement sent even worse pain across her back. She spasmed and sobbed as she went limp again.

Catalina felt so weak.

She never liked being weak. It proved Henry right in divorcing her. It proved to her and those around her that she wasn’t strong. She was a weak coward.

So even with that agony, she tried to push through the pain. She tried to lash out again, earning another pained cry. But she had to fight back.

She wasn’t going to go through the whipping again.

The other queens all yelped upon Catalina’s first strike, the one that sent the healer to the ground, clutching her face. And when Catalina began to thrash, the others panicked more.

They tried to reach Catalina. Tried to pin her down. But they couldn’t get close enough. They weren’t worried for their safety, they were worried for her. A worry that only increased with each sight of her mangled back and the howl of pain that accompanied the sharp movements.

And then, someone finally managed to reach her.

A gentle hand, one that Catalina faintly recognized through the lack of lucidity, rested on her head, pressing through her hair to rest against her scalp.

Catalina slowly relaxed. Pain still arched through her back. But his touch spoke of safety and protection.

She was safe now.

Ever so slowly, Jane began to stroke the injured woman’s head with her hand. Catalina went slack, her eyes fluttering shut as she shuddered from the still present pain.

Jane let out a breath of relief. It mixed with a sob as she took in her friend’s pain. “It’s okay, Catalina. You’re safe now.”

Faintly Jane registered Anna kicking the stranger out. But that wasn’t as important as Catalina.

Jane continued to gently stroke Catalina’s hair, meeting one of the woman’s eyes. They were darkened by pain, distress, and simply exhaustion.

Jane felt her temper rise dramatically.

She wanted to go find that mayor. She wanted to, quite simply, make him beg for mercy. Make him understand exactly what he had done to Catalina, the confident and noble woman now reduced to an injured mess on a kitchen table.

But Catalina was far more important.

“You’re safe now, love. I promise you.” Jane whispered. “We need to heal your wounds, but we’ll try to be as gentle as possible… Alright? But I’m not going to lie. This will hurt.”

Catalina could only barely make out what Jane was saying through the haze. But still, she found herself weakly nodding, only barely able to be seen by the elf.

“Now.” Jane looked back up to the others, not stopping her soothing touch to Catalina’s head. “I can’t heal her at this stage. The damage is too extensive.”

“What?!” It was Kat who asked. “It’s gashes, you’ve certainly healed that before!”

“I have.” Jane acknowledged with a sigh. “But it’s better to let this much damage heal naturally than it is to heal it with magic. Especially since they had magic on the whip itself. I would only heal an injury like this with magic if it was life or death, final resort.”

Cathy sighed but nodded, shifting anxiously on her heels. She knew a small healing spell as well, but trusted Jane’s assessment. “I… I understand, Jane. Just please help her.”

The fog returned for Catalina, the pain intensifying again as the rag was pressed to her skin with lightest of touches.

But then she heard a melody. A peaceful flute melody that was just as fast paced as it was a lullaby.

Ah, her favorite song, she faintly recognized.

Catalina drifted in and out. The flashes of pain waking her before she was soothed back to sleep immediately by Kat’s music.

She was safe now...

~~||~~||~~

When Catalina woke up, the first thing she did was try to move. She didn’t register the already present pain. The pain that only increased as she tried to move.

She cried out as the agony returned and could only heave gasped breaths as she slumped back against the surface she laid on. The pain hurt almost as bad as it did when she was freed, only lessened slightly.

She heard voices but she could only focus on the pain. Her hands curled around a soft surface, clenching tight (moving her shoulders definitely did not help with the pain either) and she buried her face into an equally soft surface. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and she quickly hid them into that surface as well.

“Shit, she’s still in pain!”

“Of course she is after that!”

There was another moment of voices before Catalina could vaguely feel a weight sit down next to her.

“Catalina? I know it hurts, can you focus on me?”

Slowly, Catalina turned her head so she could look up at the speaker. Kat?

The pink bard smiled sadly at her upon seeing her face. “Hi, Lina. Just breathe with me, okay?”

It took several minutes of deep breathing. The pain calmed slightly but didn’t go away. And Catalina still felt like it was agony.

With the pain less than it was before, Catalina finally took in the soft bed underneath her and the blankets over her legs, leaving her bandaged back to the open. Those bandages rubbed rather uncomfortably at the wounds.

“Where are we?” Catalina asked, looking around the room as much as she could.

“We’re in a house the town lent us. It’s been abandoned for a few days so they’re letting us use it until you’re healed.” Anna told her.

“You were out all of yesterday, love.” Jane explained gently.

Catalina didn’t offer that a response and there was a stretch of silence.

“Do you feel any better?” Kat asked carefully, flute now put away.

Catalina hummed. Being out of the heat and cold of the elements certainly helped. And free of the post as well, sleeping (falling unconscious) against a much softer surface.

Catalina shifted, tried to move again. That turned out to be a bad idea. She inhaled sharply, biting back a cry, as the pain spiked again.

She pressed her face against the pillow, hiding the tears from the other queens as she grit her teeth. The pain still arched in her back and she wanted it all to stop.

One piece of leather reduced her to a crying weakling. She was already weak.

But now… she felt weaker than ever.

Before she could spiral, Kat sat next to her on the bed, being cautious not to disrupt Catalina’s back.

“Catalina? What’s wrong?” Kat asked gently. The woman didn’t look at the elf, keeping her face hidden and giving the tiniest shake of her head.

“Königin, we just want to help you.” Anna soothed, leaning forward slightly.

“Lina, what you just went through…” Jane paused, exhaling deeply. “I’m sure it was traumatic.”

Cathy simply shifted in her seat, both her and Shadow looking just as worried as the rest.

Catalina shuddered, remembering the feeling of the whip lashing at her back. Pain. It was all pain.

She slowly turned her head to peek up at Kat. “Are…” she swallowed, turning her gaze away from Kat’s eyes. “Are you all going to get rid of me now?”

Everyone jolted, staring at her wide eyed.

“What?!” Cathy sat up straighter.

Kat managed to barely keep her composure. “Get rid of you? We would never!”

“Why do you think that, Königin?” Anna asked gently, not removing her arm from around Jane.

Catalina blinked, the tears still blurring her vision. “I’m weak.” It wasn’t a question.

Catalina couldn’t stop the confusion in her voice. They weren’t going to leave her after seeing her so damaged? Everyone else did. Her parents simply gave her way, Arthur died, and Henry? Well, Henry was the one who showed her that everyone had left her, will leave her, because of just how weak she is.

A voice called her back from the stinging pain and just as harsh memories.

“Madrina?”

Cathy sat next to her now, Kat having moved down to the end of the bed and Shadow frowning at her from where she was on the wall on Catalina’s other side.

Cathy continued and Catalina flinched upon noticing the tears in her goddaughter’s eyes. “Please don’t think that… I— we would never do that to you. Not over anything and especially not this.”

Catalina narrowed her eyes, but it felt forced. “You don’t have to lie to me. Not to make me feel better… I’ll be gone by morning.” And then, she tried to push herself up, only to cry out and fall back down again.

Jane was next to them in seconds, helping Cathy soothe Catalina again until the pain faded.

“We aren’t kicking you out!” It was Kat who spoke after a moment. “We would never do that!”

Catalina stared at her out of the corner of her eye. Kat’s face, all of their faces, was filled with sincerity.

Realization slowly sunk in. “You won’t?”

Cathy crumbled, the tears in her eyes becoming sobs as she held her godmother’s hand. Shadow was only staring, an anger in her eyes. Anna had also made her way over, holding Kat to her side. The pink bard herself was also crying. Jane’s gaze was fixated on Catalina’s back.

“We will never, Königin.” Anna spoke calmly. “You will never have to be scared of that.”

Kat let out a watery chuckle. “You’re stuck with us.”

“No matter how many wounds you have. No matter how many scars you get from this. No matter how many tears you shed.” Jane leant down to her level now, making sure Catalina’s exhausted eyes could meet her own. “We will never toss you aside.”

Catalina stared for a moment. Her back still hurt like hell. “I’ve…” she paused unsteadily before her voice became colder. “I thought that before. It never worked out.”

“Well we aren’t the past.” Anna told her. “And we’ll prove it to you.”

A cold touch was on Catalina’s shoulder for half a second before it faded again. But she knew who it was. She twisted her head slightly to look at Shadow. Shadow gave her a confident grin back.

Catalina simply sighed and closed her eyes, her body relaxing as much as it could against the bed, wishing the pain would just stop. It hurt. It still hurt so much. But she wasn’t going to admit it. She wasn’t going to chance ruining that small hope that sparked.

“We’ll see… don’t be scared to leave me here.”

If anything, that line caused the opposite to happen. The queens didn’t leave the room, instead keeping an eye on Catalina and doing small activities.

The pain didn’t want to let her rest, it seemed. So Catalina simply watched them for a few minutes.

Eventually, sleep called to her, even with the pain, and she felt her eyes start to slip close all over again.

Clearly, the others noticed her falling asleep. Catalina couldn’t tell who, but one of the others spoke.

“It’s alright… you can sleep now, we’ll all be right here.”

After that, and even after Catalina healed, they always made sure Catalina knew that. She was allowed to cry, be injured with them. Catalina would never be weaker in their eyes.

(And maybe, just maybe she would start to believe them herself.)

~~||~~||~~

It was dark? Where was she? She felt so alone.

Things brightened and she felt sick upon realizing where she was.

She was cuffed to the whipping post again, that familiar pain tracing her back. She tugged at the cuffs, but they wouldn’t loosen.

A voice caught her attention and she whipped her head, ready to cry for help no matter how weak she seemed. She couldn’t speak, her throat suddenly dry, upon seeing how it was.

Mother and father.

“Dear, are you happy that we sent her away?”

“Of course! We didn’t need her, she’s a weak brat!”

Just as those words stabbed her heart, someone else appeared.

Arthur?

“Lina? Why did I have to die?”

“Arthur? I don’t… I didn’t—!”

Her head whipped around to see Henry now, standing with Anne Boleyn.

“Shameful. It’s no wonder your mother and father gave you away. Why Arthur died to a sickness.” Henry huffed.

Anne gave her a malicious grin. “It’s because you’re weak, Aragon! Weak!”

Stop it! Stop it! She knew she was weak! They didn’t have to rub it in! Not when she was already dealing with the agony of the whip!

Then, the queens appeared, and Catalina felt her heart sink even further.

“I can’t believe we have to journey with her.”

“She’s damaged now, why would we need her?”

“We’re wasting valuable time tending to her weakness!”

“Catalina, you’re so weak!”

Shadow fixed her with a furious glare, that familiar smile long gone.

And then, every single one of them turned and walked away. Her parents vanished first, followed by Arthur. Henry and Boleyn after them.

But the queens and Shadow remained, simply walking off into the distance.

Catalina could hear herself screaming, begging them to come back. She isn’t weak! She can be stronger! She isn’t damaged!

But they didn’t hear.

And once they vanished, all Catalina could feel was the whip hitting her back and the agony that consumed her.

~~||~~||~~

She snapped awake, gasping sharply for breath. Tears were on her cheeks, wetting the pillow under her head.

She was in the house, but her mind couldn’t process that. All she could see was the nightmare.

And oh god, the pain!

She was going to be sick.

Catalina found herself dangling off the bed, spitting up vomit and bite into the floor with heaved gasps. Her back was screaming in protest at the stretching movement, that familiar fire only increasing and mixing with the burning of her throat.

Faintly, Catalina heard footsteps rushing towards her, and then hands were on her shoulders, skillfully avoiding the wounds as they pulled her back up to rest fully on the bed.

The hand began to move away but Catalina grabbed hold of the wrist, trying to drag herself back to the present. Which past she was trying to escape, she wasn’t quite sure.

“Woah, woah… it’s okay, Königin. You’re okay…”

Anna? Didn’t she leave?

The hand gently twisted in Catalina’s hold, moving to take her hand instead. The thumb rubbed circles onto the back of Catalina’s hand.

She was still trying to calm down, the taste of vomit heavy in her mouth and the memories still flashing in her mind.

“Can you tell me five things you can see?”

Catalina stared for a moment and Anna gently asked the question again. Catalina opened her mouth, finally able to get words free from her throat.

“I… you… the table… the lamp… the window…?”

“You’re doing good, Königin. One more thing you can see?” Anna didn’t seem panicked at all, keeping her calm. Catalina’s gaze trailed around the room again, Cathy and Kat along with Shadow stood in the doorway before being gently shooed away by someone. Catalina flicked her gaze towards the source and saw Jane.

The cleric was cleaning up the vomit and Catalina opened her mouth to apologize but nothing would come out. Anna gently redirected her to look back up at her again.

“Don’t worry about that, Königin. Just keep focusing on me.” Anna soothed. “One more thing you can see?”

“Jane.”

“You’re doing great… now, what about four things you can feel?”

“The bed. Your hand. Pillow. Pain.”

Anna paused for only a second at that last line but didn’t push, only continuing with a small nod. “Alright, and what about hearing? Tell me three things you can hear.”

Catalina felt herself getting calmer as she focused back into the world around her. She finally went slack against the pillow, letting her eyes close. But she continued to answer. “You. Cathy and Kat. Howling.”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Anna chuckled, also hearing the howl. “Tell me two things you can smell.”

“The vomit… blood?”

Anna nodded. “You’re doing great… And one thing you can taste?”

“Vomit.” Catalina answered simply, wincing at the taste. But she was almost completely calm now, only her shaking hands being remnants of the nightmare and consequential panic attack.

The taste was easily remedied with the cup of water Anna helped her drink.

With a glance from Anna, Jane left the room, nodding back.

“Do you want to talk about what happened, Königin?” Anna asked gently, sitting in a chair right beside the bed.

“Nightmare.” Catalina huffed simply, closing her eyes.

“Alright… and do you want to talk about the nightmare?” Anna had a fairly good idea what it was about, especially as her gaze travelled over the bandages hiding the array of gashes.

“No.”

Catalina has done this before. She refused to talk about any nightmares she had, even before all of this. She would hardly talk about her feelings in general.

And Anna was worried.

“... why are you so scared to talk, Königin?” Anna asked quietly.

Catalina glared at her for a moment, hoping to deter her. But Anna stared back with that calm nature and Catalina felt the resolve crack.

“I don’t… want to be weak. Alright?” Catalina turned her head away again. There was a moment of silence.

Catalina still remembered her nightmare. Those who left her just proving how weak she is. The queens gave up on her. Catalina still believes it is inevitable.

“Can you look at me, Königin?”

Catalina didn’t for another moment, but after another reassurance, Catalina slowly turned her head to look at Anna.

The barbarian grinned at her. “There you are.” Catalina huffed with a blush but didn’t look away as Anna’s smile turned softer, more serious. “Do you think I’m ugly, Catalina?”

Catalina gaped at her. “Ugly?! Anna of Cleves, you are beautiful—!”

“Then if I’m beautiful, even when I think I’m not, what is making you weak?”

Catalina could only stare, stopped in her tracks. Anna chuckled at the sight. “See? Think about that one for a bit.”

Anna straightened a bit, shaking her head. “But let’s get back on track. Please tell me what’s wrong? Talking to me won’t make me think of you as any weaker. In fact, I think talking would make you even stronger, hmm?”

Catalina bit her lip. The pain was still bursting on her back, that white hot agony still not dulled. She didn’t want to hurt anymore.

Catalina finally crumbled. “It hurts, Anna. It hurts…”

(She didn’t want to think about the nightmare. About everyone leaving one by one. But the one thing that she would talk about from it was the pain. The pain that still burned away at her back.)

“Your back.” It wasn’t a question, but rather a statement.

“It still feels like it did afterwards.” Catalina mumbled.

Concern became even greater at that. “It hasn’t eased at all?” Anna asked almost urgently.

Catalina let out a bitter chuckle that made her wince. “Only a little.” She finally brought her gaze back up to Anna. The barbarian froze, seeing something in her gaze. “I just want it to stop.”

“Oh, Königin.” It didn’t sound pitying, just sad and angry. “Gods, I’m going to kill him! Listen, I know it hurts… but you’re safe now. You’re safe where you can heal. It will get better, I promise.”

Catalina couldn’t stop the growl. She knew that! But it still hurts right now, hurts so bad. Especially since she moved and stretched like that a little bit ago.

Gods, why couldn’t it all just stop?

Anna was continuing. “And we’ll be here every step of the way. Why don’t I go get Jane and we put some ointment or the rag? I think that might help.”

A pause and a nod before Anna began to walk towards the door.

“Anna?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t… I still don’t think I’m strong. But… thank you, for thinking I am.”

“Königin… I will say it however many times I need to before you believe it too… now let’s deal with your pain, alright?”

And if Anna began cussing the mayor and Henry out as she reached the door, then well… Catalina didn’t blame her.

~~||~~||~~

It was several days later that Catalina went outside.

She had been healing and Jane finally deemed her healed enough to take a short walk through the town as long as another queen was with her. (She still couldn’t lay on her back and her wounds still hurt like hell, but Catalina was fine, really she was—)

So still in bandages and a shirt that both rubbed uncomfortable against her wounds (Catalina refused to admit it to the queens. She would endure it, it wasn’t a big deal anyways, she told herself) Catalina made her way out of the house, Cathy, and by extension, Shadow at her side.

The town was much nicer.

Townspeople seemed happier with people laughing and cheering. It seemed the high of ridding themselves of a tyrant hadn’t vanished. Everywhere they went, people apologized to Catalina for what had happened and swore the mayor would never be leaving his cell.

Every mention intensified the pain for a few seconds, but Catalina wasn’t going to say a word about it. They were being nice, they shouldn’t have to deal with her pain bringing their apologies down.

Cathy stuck by her side through it all, the two making their way through the bustling marketplace, simply looking at the wares.

“Does it hurt?” Cathy asked gently as Catalina paused, the pain spiking. “Should we go back?”

Catalina huffed. While going back home sounded wonderful, a cool rag that after stinging would ease the pain along with ointments, Catalina wanted to stay out of that bed as long as she could. Evidently, it wasn’t much longer.

“No, no. I want to look around a little more—!”

Catalina and Cathy both jolted upon hearing a cheer, accompanied by footsteps and a call of “Karina!”

The girl from before was now next to Catalina, relief and an excited grin on her face. Catalina felt herself melt at the sheer relief and happiness on the child’s face.

“You’re okay!”

“I’m okay.” Catalina repeated, moving to kneel to the girl’s height but stopping with a small hiss (she refused to whimper, not like during the event) as the pain surged.

“I was so so worried! The fighting started and mama pulled me away, but I didn’t see you—!”

The mother pulled Karina back to her, giving Catalina and Cathy a nervous smile. “I’m so sorry about Karina. Come along, dear.”

Catalina could only blink, stunned as the woman began to tug Karina away. Cathy noticed and was swiftly stopping the woman.

“It’s perfectly alright.” The Wizard interjected, leaning to Karina’s level. “It’s Karina, right? I’m Cathy.”

Karina smiled at her. “It’s nice to meet you, Cathy!”

“Why don’t we sit down?” Cathy asked with a smile of her own.

So they did, sitting on a bench off to the side. Karina’s mother remained standing as the two former queens and sat on either side of the girl. Karina was talking fast, almost to the point Catalina and Cathy couldn’t keep up, but both were amused by the girl’s energy.

And Catalina couldn’t bring herself to regret her decision. No matter the pain currently still burning at her back and the exhaustion on the edge of her mind.

“Thank you, for what you did that night.” Catalina said once the girl took a break from her chatter. “The bread and soup was delicious.”

The girl beamed up at her. But her mother suddenly looked horrified. “Karina, you didn’t!”

Catalina gazed at her as Karina shrunk. “Your daughter may have done something dangerous. But she did it for another person. And I am forever thankful.”

Karina’s grin came back and Karina’s mother stopped, clearly processing those words.

“Your daughter has a good heart, ma’am.” Cathy looked thankfully at the girl. “Thank you for helping my Madrina.”

The girl latched onto that. “Madrina?”

As Cathy and Karina launched into a conversation and Karina’s mother still processed exactly what her daughter did, Catalina closed her eyes and simply enjoyed the breeze. She listened to her goddaughter and Karina and the sounds of the town around her.

This atmosphere, one of a relaxed and cheerful bustle, actually did wonders for her nerves. For a moment, the thoughts and memories went away.

Then, Catalina heard a noise.

She opened her eyes and locked into the source. Across the street, in a shadowed alleyway, stood a woman. A scowl was on her face and Catalina caught the glint of light reflecting off a dagger.

Upon seeing Catalina’s eyes on her, she lunged. Catalina leapt to her feet, ignoring the sharp pain that hit her back.

“YOU PUT MY HUSBAND IN JAIL!”

Catalina froze, still injured and knowing that there wasn’t much she could do especially without her weapons she left at the house. Karina could only stare at the charging woman with wide eyes and her mother moved forward to pull Karina away. Cathy was moving to intervene, a spell on her lips. It turned out that it was hardly necessary.

Something latched onto the woman’s foot right before she could reach the group, dragging her down, straight into the floor. Or rather… into the dark shadow on the floor.

Shadow.

She had just pulled the woman into the shadows with her, right before she could stab Catalina.

It was a few seconds and a flurry of movement before the woman reappeared, thrown straight from Cathy’s shadow and away from the group, significantly more covered in blooming bruises.

“What—?! What the hell is that… that thing?!” The woman shrieked, backing up rapidly.

Cathy only snorted. She was still ready to cast a spell but a little more relaxed upon seeing that display. “A protective shadow. Now I suggest you go before you join your husband in jail.”

The woman scowled and Catalina thought the woman was going to pick up the dagger and charge again. The paladin wasn’t worried now, she couldn’t fight back, but Cathy and Shadow were fully prepared to knock her down.

“You’ll pay for this!” She snapped. “You damn witch, and not even that creature can save you!”

And for a moment, Catalina swore she heard Shadow hiss.

“I think the message here is to leave.” Catalina said simply. The woman was vanishing down the street, townspeople watching her go with two guards beginning to go after her.

Cathy glanced down at Shadow. “Well, that was new. But definitely not unwelcome.”

Shadow smirked back before looking to Catalina with a tilt of her head. The Paladin paused for a moment. She had been unable to do anything (weak—) but Shadow definitely deserved thanks. And Catalina fully registered that she was checking on her too.

“Thank you, Shadow.”

The cursed woman beamed at the thanks before pausing upon hearing another person.

“Wow! You’re so cool!”

Shadow jolted back upon seeing the face of a child in front of her. Karina had crouched down in front of her, staring at the shadow stretched across the ground in amazement and curiosity.

“Karina!” Honestly, Catalina was surprised the woman hadn’t had a heart attack by this point, but she sure looked ready to.

The girl paused slightly and even Shadow shrunk back.

Cathy was quick to interject. “It’s alright, Shadow is perfectly safe! I trust her with my life.”

The mother backed down, albeit warily. Karina beamed and turned back to a cheered up Shadow.

Catalina and Cathy watched for a moment before Cathy slowly spoke, nodding head along.

“You know, needing a bit of protection doesn’t make you weak.” Cathy said. She had noticed the look Catalina had upon realizing she couldn’t fight back.

Catalina stared for a moment. “Strength is being able to protect yourself and especially those you care about.” Something she clearly wasn’t capable of doing.

Cathy nodded, absorbing her words. “There are different meanings to strength.” She replied with a shrug before fully meeting Catalina’s eyes. “And besides, Madrina… we are protecting someone we care about.”

Oh.

Catalina fully froze at that. That was a new perspective. One that put a new spin on the way Catalina had been looking at all of it.

They cared.

Catalina looked back to Shadow and Karina, only a little bit away, seeing how the former was attached to Cathy. The girl didn’t seem bothered by Shadow’s inability to talk and Shadow seemed content to just listen.

Shadow noticed her stare and gave her a nod and a smile.

(And later in the future, when Shadow was freed, known to them as Anne, (and to Catalina, her lover) she would lovingly trace the scars on Catalina’s back. She would always fix them with a sad gaze, always making sure she wasn’t hurting Catalina through even the lightest of touch. Catalina always returned the favor with the scar on Anne’s neck and the large scars on the front and back of Anne’s shoulder.)

Catalina and Cathy didn’t talk about it again that day. They bid Karina and her mother goodbye before heading back to the house, where Jane fretted over Catalina being out longer than she should have been.

Even with the fussing and the following playful banter, Catalina felt a little lighter than before. These queens were chipping at the ever existing thought of being weak.

And Catalina was beginning to question it herself.

(“The bandages and the shirt are uncomfortable…” Catalina carefully confided to Jane later, once she was laying in the bed, on her stomach again. She remembered Cathy’s words.

‘We are protecting someone we care about.’ It didn’t just apply to Shadow rescuing her.

Jane only smiled at her, pride twinkling in her gaze that only made Catalina soften further as she gently helped pull the shirt off. “Thank you for telling me, love. We’ll see what we can do about it.”

Catalina swallowed. “And it’s hurting really bad again…”

“Oh, love… let me get the medicine and rag very quickly and we’ll ease it. I’m sorry this ever happened… but we’ll get you better.”)

~~||~~||~~

Slowly, Catalina recovered.

It took a while before Jane finally cleared Catalina to begin training again. A little longer for Catalina to get back to the strength she was once at.

(Whenever training, they had to be careful of her back now and Catalina always growled upon remembering that she now had a physical weak point like that.)

The nightmares still resurfaced, sometimes memories overwhelmed her. (Henry, abandonment, and especially the whip—)

But she finally felt somewhat comfortable talking about it. And she didn’t even have to.

The queens never asked, they simply offered comfort and let Catalina speak about the troubles first.

Sometimes, the new scars on her back ache and burn from the old pain. But just as with the mental pains, no one pushed her. They always made sure she didn’t feel weak, reassured her that they needed a break too.

Jane would always have a healing spell or a damp, cool rag or even just her words ready. Anna always trained with her or simply walked with her. Kat had melodies ready to be played and kind words to be spoken. Cathy was always a steady presence, be it in silence or sometimes reading a book aloud. And Shadow always did her best to bug Catalina, distract her with banter while keeping her ever watchful eyes on her.

And after a while, Catalina finally felt secure.

She felt secure enough that a whip wouldn’t strike her down at a second’s notice (somedays, that feeling came back stronger and Catalina couldn’t begin to imagine what it felt like for people who experienced the flogging for days on end when she only felt it for two). And she also felt secure enough to let down her walls.

Not completely, but under the constant reassurance, she finally had the courage to let down her walls little by little to the other queens. To slowly inch open the iron gate.

And they never left.

And ever so slowly, Catalina started to accept the truth, they wouldn’t leave. And maybe… she wasn’t weak.

It had been several weeks, maybe a month or two (it was hard to keep track of the time on this journey), since the flogging and Catalina was fully healed, only scars and the constant throbbing phantom pains still there to tell the tale.

Somehow, they hadn’t run into anyone with a whip. And to be honest, none of the queens ever really worried about it.

But then they came across a town being attacked by a woman using magic.

It started well.

She had been rather easy to track down. She was living in a house away from the village, protected by magic barriers that Cathy was able to remove after a few incantations.

The woman smirked at them once they found her. “So. They sent more people to try and kill me?”

“You have terrorized that town for too long.” Catalina replied. Her sword and shield ready for battle.

“We will be stopping you!” Anna agreed.

It was when they actually began to fight that the problem started.

She had quickly managed to knock Anna out, followed by Jane. Kat and Cathy were captured by magic, awake but held in restraints. Shadow couldn’t do anything either, looking panicked in Cathy’s shadow.

The woman fixed her gaze on Catalina, tilting her head, as if deciding what to do about her. Catalina glared back in response, shield and sword at the ready along with the knowledge that she was the only one standing.

And then the woman pulled out a whip.

Catalina froze, suddenly unable to breathe. 

(For half a second, she berated herself. Who panics over a simple whip? The others made sure to stop that thinking later, it was trauma after all.)

Catalina cursed herself for being so weak again as she took several steps backwards, dropping her weapons. Her legs suddenly felt like sticks, as if they would give out in a second’s notice. Her breathing couldn’t calm down. It felt like she was pressed up against the post all over again. Her scars ached— burned— and she could feel the leather striking her over and over and over and overoveroverover.

Was that the mayor holding the whip or Henry?

Someone was speaking but she just couldn’t make out what they were saying, much less who it was.

But just as she was about to black out, one of those unintelligible voices became piercing and clear.

“CATALINA, MOVE!”

The voice itself snapped her into action and she slammed herself to the left as the whip crashed down where she stood.

The edge of her vision was still blurred, but she could see the woman. A curious grin was on her face as she observed Catalina and her reactions to the whip.

“Scared of this little thing?” The woman mockingly snapped it against the floor and she looked gleeful upon seeing the way Catalina flinched back slightly.

The next thing Catalina knew was being sent sprawling across the floor. Her back flared, from hitting the floor or from the memories, Catalina wasn’t sure. She turned into her side trying to regain her strength.

A telekinesis magic was ripping her backplate off, showing the mangled scars tracing a wicked pattern on her back.

If anything, the woman only seemed more gleeful. “You really were flogged!”

Catalina only let out a small growl in response, flinching at the cold air and the memories that came back.

“I wonder whatever you would have been flogged for.” The woman tapped her chin. “Thievery? Adultery? Fighting? So many possibilities!”

Catalina curled tighter, gritting her teeth as she tried to fight back the memories. They were all in danger! This was no time to be so… so weak!

The woman knelt down in front of her, trying to look her in the eye. “Poor dear… all scarred and injured! I’m curious, do they still hurt?”

“Leave her the hell alone!” Kat cried, thrashing in her magical bonds.

The woman didn’t take her gaze off Catalina, even as she moved across the room. “I don’t think I will. I think I should have a little fun!”

That already wicked smirk twisted further as she finally turned to fully face Kat. “Maybe… I can let one of you understand how she feels.”

A sudden shuffling drew attention back to Catalina.

The Paladin had managed to reach her feet again, but her gaze remained on the floor. “You will not touch my family.”

The woman huffed. “Are you really that eager to repeat history? Fine!” And with that, she launched the whip.

“MADRINA!”

“CATALINA!”

Catalina breathed.

In and out.

In and out.

She wasn’t cuffed to a post. She wasn’t weak. She was strong. She wasn’t weak. Henry was a lair. The queens tell the truth. They care about her. She wasn’t going to be hurt like that again.

This fear… it didn’t make her weak. If anything, it made her human.

She was strong.

The whip wrapped around her raised, armored wrist instead. Catalina stared for only a second before her wide eyes narrowed to a glare and she grabbed on, wrapping it tighter in her hand.

The weapon that paralyzed her with fear was now her key to a quick victory.

The woman’s eyes widened and before she could move to either let go or cast a spell, Catalina yanked on the whip with as much force as she could muster.

The woman came flailing toward her, having let go too late. She opened her mouth to cast a spell but was moving too fast.

Catalina slammed her fist into the woman’s jaw as she reached her.

The force knocked her out cold and Catalina only stared at her as the magic around Kat and Cathy fell. Cathy was moving over to Anna and Jane. Kat watched Catalina, who stood there, completely still. No… her hands were trembling.

Even with the victory, Catalina could still feel that panic rising in her chest as she fixed her gaze onto the fallen whip.

She had won, but even facing your fear didn’t vanquish it.

A hand rested on her arm and Catalina jolted, turning slightly to fix her gaze on Kat. The bard gave her a smile in return.

(Kat probably knew better than anyone the truth of that statement.)

“You did wonderful, Lina.” The bard spoke gently. “Why don’t we go back to the town and relax? That was brilliant but I’m sure you don’t feel good after that.”

Catalina felt her muscles untense, the familiar burning in her back fading to the tiniest prickling sensation. She let a smile of her own cross her face, not worried about how it wavered.

Yes, her back still ached, even after they finished their journey. Yes, she would still have nightmares, of abandonment too. But… she was safe now. Safe with a family who would never abandon her and one she would always protect no matter the cost.

She was not weak. She was strong.

“That sounds great, Gatita.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cut to me panicking as I try to come up with reasons why Jane can’t heal it*
> 
> I also want to make it clear that facing the fear at the end was not a fix. Catalina still has trauma after. She just overcame it in that moment because her need to protect was a little stronger (she definitely had a nightmare that night) and she got a little better, but that isn’t a 100% fix it all.
> 
> Catalina also dealing with believing that she is weak fit perfectly here so I took the opportunity. I felt like this one focused a bit too little on the actual injury, but maybe I’m just overthinking.
> 
> Hope this turned out well!


	2. Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Losing something you’ve had all your life can be hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: losing your hearing, explosions, burns, anxiety, panic attacks, fear of loud noises/explosions

Jane Seymour has a temper.

She’s always had it. She was simply good at hiding it, keeping it at bay.

Jane had to, as Henry’s wife.

So her temper was not very well known. She was known as the docile one. The healer. The one who was Henry’s favorite and gave him a son.

She knew how to manage it for minor things. Breathing exercises and other such methods. Walks through nature did wonders for her mental state, be it anxiety or that temper.

But there were cases where Jane’s temper could not be contained.

One of the worst things you could do was hurt one of the queens. Especially Anna.

You wouldn’t think that Jane was one of the more protective queens, but she was. A mother bear, they called her with smiles. Anna, her wife, adored the protective nature, but she definitely worried over Jane’s temper blinding her.

And eventually, it did.

A group of bandits had taken over a town. Forcing the townspeople to pay rent and travelers to pay a fee to get through.

So the queens decided to give the town an anonymous gift by getting rid of the bandits. They couldn’t simply leave the town to fend for themselves (and that was the story for every single town they saved across their journey. They simply couldn’t abandon them like that. This was their people, whether they were former queens or not.)

The bandits were easily found in a castle-like building, having taken it over as a base of operations.

Infiltration had been a success, the queens defeating bandit after bandit until they reached the large, former throne room where the leader and a large group of his bandits waited.

Cathy was hitting two bandits with a wave of ice and whipping to face the others. “We have to take out the leader!” Shadow nodded her agreement before swiftly moving Cathy away from an attack.

“Trying—!” Kat cut herself off, playing a melody that sent the charging bandit to the floor, blinded by a flash of light.

“We’ll get there eventually!” Catalina told them, striking down another with a spell granted by her worshiped god.

“Where did Anna go?!” Jane called, pulling her rapier back from where she had struck another bandit.

“Over there!”

Jane spotted Anna, rushing towards the leader, standing on the platform that once held a throne. The bandit smirked at the charging queen and Jane suddenly felt a sense of dread.

The next few moments passed as a blur.

Anna raced towards him, axe raised.

But the bandit leader ducked to the side. Jane cried out for Anna to move upon seeing a glint of metal, but it was too late.

The dagger plunged into the right side of Anna’s stomach. The axe went toppling from her hands and the barbarian stumbled backwards as it was pulled back out.

Time seemed to slow and Jane didn’t see if her wife hit the floor. Her vision went red and she could feel her body leaping forward, rapier at the ready.

Jane always did have a temper.

The others’ voices were faint in her ears as they cried out for both Anna and Jane. The bandit leader was laughing, if anything that fueled Jane’s rage further.

It was mid-leap that things went wrong.

Jane saw a bright flash from the corner of her eyes that washed over her vision, drowning out the blind rage. Then, she heard a deafening ‘BOOM!’ directly in her sensitive ears. That part only hurt for half a second before she felt an accompanying burning sensation swarming up her left side almost instantly.

And then, everything went black.

~~||~~||~~

The explosion was a big one.

The queens were all covering their ears and shielding their eyes, using spells and leaping away. When the smoke faded, Jane wasn’t there, now somewhere among the expanse of rubble on the floor.

There was a moment of shocked silence, everyone stunned.

And then, the bandit leader began to laugh. A sickening laugh that showed no remorse for what just happened.

Anna was still on the floor, her hand weakly holding her stab wound as she stared where Jane had once been. Her eyes began to scan the floor, her face pale.

And then, just as Jane did, Anna snapped. She lunged up from her spot on the floor.

Despite having been stabbed, her fury pushed her upwards and she grabbed onto the bandit and flung him to the floor with a bellow of rage. She pinned him to the floor and began to punch him in the face.

After several strikes, Anna pulled back, red still tinting the corners of her vision as she pulled him up slightly by the collar.

“It looks like… the rest of the bombs didn’t activate… only one...” The leader coughed, giving Anna a bloody grin. “Tragic.”

Anna didn’t give him another word, instead slamming his head back against the floor, knocking him out cold (if it did more, Anna couldn’t find herself caring).

She scrambled over to where Jane had stood. The other queens were rushing over as well. It took a moment for Anna to find Jane but she did.

She lunged to her wife’s side, even with the crimson blood running down from her wound.

Luckily, Jane wasn’t completely under the rubble. She was simply stuck under some wood and stone debris. It was also extremely lucky that her lower half wasn’t crushed. There were many cuts and bruises across her body, one particularly bad on her head.

“Anna, sit down!” Catalina snapped, rushing over even faster as the barbarian began to try and lift some of the rubble, even with the blood rushing from her stab wound.

Anna rounded on her, a fury in her eyes. “Sit down?! That’s my wife!”

Catalina remained calm. “I know. But she’s our family too and you just got stabbed. Let me get her out of the rubble. You are going to sit down and let Cathy or Kat heal you.”

Anna’s mouth opened to protest, even as she swayed slightly. Catalina swiftly continued. “You can sit right over there where you can see us, and I’ll bring Jane over when she’s out, okay? But you’re injured too.”

Anna stares for a short moment before inhaling sharply, glancing back at Jane. “I… alright… okay.”

Catalina nodded. “Good.” And then she was swiftly moving past Anna to pull away the rubble and free Jane from the wreckage.

Anna could only stare at Jane as the others worked around her. Cathy was healing the stab wound, Kat was buzzing between both groups, a healing melody on the edge of her lips, and Catalina was getting rid of the last of the rubble.

The paladin lifted the unconscious cleric up and made her way over to Anna and Cathy, gently laying her on the floor. Anna was swiftly by her side, cupping Jane’s cheek and looking her over.

“Help me get her armor off.” Catalina said, already beginning to do so. Anna was quickly complying, Kat and Cathy next to them as well taking off the leg parts and the boots.

They quickly found out what wasn’t so lucky. The burn.

The bomb had been more to her left. The clothes under her bits of armor were ripped, tattered and burned almost completely. Upon taking off the silver and white armor, the bloodied burn was completely revealed.

They had already seen bits of it from where it stretched up the left side of her neck and on the left side of her jaw along with her left arm. But it traveled all the way down that side and a little of her front left.

Anna grit her teeth at the sight, tears beginning to gather in her eyes as she took in the bloodied burn.

Cathy and Kat were talking but Anna couldn't hear them. Her mind was stuck in the past.

The past of when she first found Jane.

She had seen the carriage go over the cliff. Anna immediately had moved to check for survivors, her hopes incredibly low. There had been only one person in the wreckage, Jane.

For a moment back then, taking in the bloodied woman and how wounded she was, Anna thought she had been dead. She wasn’t.

This sight was terrifyingly similar.

So Anna found her trembling fingers searching for a pulse. She was muttering to herself as she did, telling Jane to stay alive, telling herself to save her. She waited with baited breath.

She could feel the pulse. Faint but there.

Anna sagged with visible relief, the exhaustion of everything finally hitting her alongside that relief. Catalina sat next to her now. She noted how Anna didn’t let go of Jane’s wrist, still feeling her pulse, and Catalina didn’t try to stop her.

“Cathy and Kat are about to use a healing spell.” Catalina alerted her. Anna nodded, untensing slightly at the news.

“Can they save her?”

“She’ll be alright. This… this could have been much worse, Anna.” Catalina admitted.

“I know.”

“You’re remembering the carriage?”

“... Yeah.”

Catalina nodded to herself. “I understand… I’m just as worried about you as I am Jane.” Catalina glances at something and let out a small laugh, drawing Anna’s full attention. “It seems someone else is too.”

Shadow was frowning up at her.

Anna chuckled. “Hello, Shadow.”

Shadow smiled for a small second before glancing to Jane and then back to her, tilting her head, the frown having returned.

Anna sighed. “I dunno, Schatten.”

“That’s okay. She’s going to be okay.” Catalina said, Shadow nodding eagerly.

Anna didn’t offer another response as Kat and Cathy began to each use a healing spell. The angry burn faded to something much more manageable, but the raised skin showed that a scar would be left behind. The cuts and bruises faded and closed, all that was left would be to clean off the blood and deal with a possible concussion.

There wasn’t much more they could do after that.

So, Anna gently picked up Jane and the group headed back to the town.

The town was filled with an obvious sense of relief now that the bandits were dealt with, the news reaching rather quickly. None of them knew that the queens were their heroes.

So it had been easy to avoid the festivities.

They went to an inn, Anna carrying Jane even with how exhausted she was. The others were close, ready to catch the both of them with Shadow keeping guard.

They rented a room and laid Jane in the bed and arranged for who would take the other bed and who would sleep on the floor. Anna was out of the discussion, sleeping by Jane’s side.

All of them slept easily, knowing Jane was safe now and that Shadow would wake them if she needed to.

They rested. They were safe.

~~||~~||~~

Jane blinked open her eyes. She was laying in a bed.

She was disoriented, confused. What had happened? She remembered… fighting the bandits…

Anna!

Jane sat up and yelped upon feeling a sting jolt up her side. It less hurt, and more caught her off guard.

She was out of her armor and in regular clothes. She pulled her shirt away slightly, it took a long moment of trying to grab onto her shirt, her muscles weak and also her coordination off.

Bandages were wrapped around her body but she could faintly see the edge of a burn scar poking out further down her thigh and tracing a shaking and unsteady finger over her jaw showed the same raised skin tissue.

The explosion.

Jane tried to take a mental category of her injuries but her mind felt fogged. Her ears were ringing, nausea swam in her stomach, and she felt confused and simply tired.

She didn’t know how long she sat there, staring at the bandages. It was only a few seconds.

A hand on her arm made her flinch and her head to whip around. Kat stood there, and Jane couldn’t see the others.

(Kat had been frowning, repeating Jane’s name as the woman continued to look at the scar. Could Jane not hear her?)

Kat’s mouth was opening. She was speaking. But not a word was coming out of her mouth. Jane squinted out of confusion (and also because of her vision blurring slightly).

“Kat…” Jane’s voice was rasped and slurred, but quickly rose almost to the point of yelling. “Love, you’ll have to speak louder than that.” Jane frowned. Was it just her or could she not hear her own voice?

There was a long moment of the two simply staring at each other, Jane rather dizzily. Then, Jane felt hands rest on her shoulders, carefully nudging her.

Kat was pushing her back to lay down again. Did she want her to go back to sleep? Sleep sounded rather good right now...

Kat gently guided Jane to lay back down and let out a sigh of relief upon seeing her fall back asleep. Something wasn’t right, and Kat couldn’t help but worry.

When the others returned later, they found Kat, staring in worry at Jane.

“Is something wrong?” Cathy asked, stepping over to her friend.

“Jane woke up.”

Everyone stood a little straighter, eyes widening with happiness. “How was she?” Anna asked eagerly, moving over to sit on the edge of Jane’s bed.

“She…” Kat bit her lip, conflict in her gaze. “She was disoriented…”

Catalina nodded. “That might be the concussion.”

“I think so… but she also couldn’t hear me.”

“Hear you?” Anna asked, a frown on her face. Shadow had stretched herself to the wall, watching Kat with a frown of her own, head tilted slightly.

“Like… I called her name several times and she couldn’t hear me. She was talking loud and she kept saying she couldn’t hear me even when I was talking to her.”

Glances were shared and Anna anxiously took hold of Jane’s hand, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles and the wedding band.

“Maybe it’s just the concussion?” Cathy suggested, mostly to herself. But all of them remembered the deafening bang that had accompanied the explosion.

“I hope so.”

They all had a sinking feeling it wasn’t.

The next time, a few hours later, Jane was much more oriented. Things were less blurred and her ears had stopped ringing, but that nausea was still present along with an aching headache and a dizzy feeling.

This time, Jane remembered the explosion in full. The startling flash, the accompanying noise.

She sat up abruptly again with a gasp, looking down to the bandages again. She frowned at them and the accompanying, stinging sensation.

A hand rested on her shoulder and just like with Kat, Jane jolted. Anna was next to her and Jane softened immediately.

“Anna?”

Her wife smiled softly at her. Her lips moved and Jane saw her say ‘—okay?’ But she didn’t hear her.

Jane paused again, staring wide eyed. “Anna, I can’t hear you.”

And everyone froze. Anna was staring just as stunned. The other queens had paused in their tracks from where they had been walking over.

It took a moment but then Cathy carefully passed her notebook and pen over to Anna, saying something.

Anna nodded and was writing something down, a determination in her eyes, before passing it to Jane.

It took Jane a moment to read it, the concussion not helping read Anna’s already shaky handwriting.

‘You’re going to be okay, promise.’

Jane stares at it for a moment, swallowing a sob trapped in her throat. That broke the dam and that trapped sob came back up along with more, leading to Jane crying harshly as she slowly lowered the journal.

(The others began to talk. Their fear was confirmed. But they would figure out a way. They knew they would. Perhaps Jane’s hearing would come back. Even if it didn’t they would still support her. They would figure it out.)

Jane was simply staring at the floor, vision blurred by the rushing tears. She was clearly in shock, still processing this new information.

And then, she slowly felt arms circle around her, pulling her into someone’s lap. Jane let out a yelp and froze for a moment. She relaxed upon seeing a glint of red, pressing herself further into the embrace, shifting so she could press her face against the crook of Anna’s neck.

She felt hands gently smooth out her hair, Anna. Kat was curled up to the both of them, Cathy at her side. Catalina was holding Jane’s hand. And Jane could feel a comforting, cold touch she knew belonged to Shadow.

They whispered words she couldn’t hear.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Everything will be okay.”

~~||~~||~~

It was now several days later and Jane still couldn’t hear. She was completely deaf.

Her burn had healed for the most part, but there would for sure be a scar left behind, tracing down her left side, left arm, and a little bit on her neck and jaw. Now, it was mostly a dull sting that Jane would simply put an ointment on or let Cathy and Kat use small healing spells on.

But she still couldn’t hear.

It was strange to get used to. Going from hearing better than a human to hearing nothing.

Some people dealt with it all of their lives. Some people never dealt with it. But Jane was able to hear for most of her life and suddenly she was thrown headfirst into deafness.

It was a struggle, that was for sure. To lose an ability of communication you had almost your entire life.

It was also hard to read lips. Incredibly hard. So for the most part, that was out.

Jane found herself hoping and praying to the gods for her hearing to heal. After all, what could she do on a dangerous quest like this one while deaf?

Nothing.

(Or so she assumed the answer to be.)

The others would be protecting her for the rest of it, as far as Jane knew. And there were so many things that could go wrong.

Jane’s anxiety came back full force.

So many ‘what if’s’ spun in her brain that it hurt sometimes.

What if her hearing never came back? What if she couldn’t help on the quest? What if everything only went downhill from here?

Jane tried her best to sound it out, but it didn’t work.

In the past few days, Jane found herself spending more time with Shadow. After all… the cursed woman was a constant in this situation.

Jane hated to see it that way, but well… it was true.

Shadow already couldn’t speak.

Jane had already gotten used to one sided communication at this point. So even if Jane kept silent or spoke louder than necessary (to the others, at any rate, Jane couldn’t hear herself, which was the root of the ‘problem’), she could usually be found with Shadow, the cursed woman communicating as normal with Jane giving her own replies.

And that was what she was doing right now.

They had set up camp for the night, the other queens chatting making preparations while Jane sat with Shadow, Cathy sitting next to them.

Things had been what, over the past few days, became normal. But then, Jane swore she heard something.

“... worried.”

Jane froze, eyes wide. Was… was her mind playing tricks?

“... do we do?”

That… that wasn’t her thoughts! Those were voices!

Kat was speaking now and Jane eagerly strained her ears. “I guess we just hope it comes back eventually.”

It was faint, almost a whisper… but… Jane could hear them! She was actually hearing them!

“Anna.”

By the gods, she could even hear herself!

Her wife turned to her instantly, not taken aback by the loudness of her voice and giving her a smile. “Yes, Liebling?”

Jane felt a gleeful smile spread across her lips and her eyes became teary. Anna immediately grew concerned, leaning forward to gently take hold of Jane’s arms. “Are you alright?” She asked, mostly mouthing the words.

Jane heard a sob bubble from her throat and she leaned forward to cup Anna’s cheeks. “Talk again. Talk again, please.” Her words came out almost desperate but Jane couldn’t bring herself to care.

Anna paused for a moment. And then, the realization clicked in her mind. “Holy shit. Jane, Liebling, can you—?!”

“I can!” Jane let out a laugh through her tears. “I can, Anna!”

Both of them fell into a bliss, the excited chatter and cheers of the other queens not breaking through that. Anna stood and pulled Jane up into a hug, twirling her around.

Jane laughed as they spun for a few seconds. Upon stopping, the elf pressed her head forward against her lover’s and the two closed their eyes.

“I can hear you… I love you…”

“I love you too, Liebling…”

“I can’t hear much, it all sounds like a faint whisper…”

“That’s okay, it’s okay. And hey… even if you couldn’t hear me for the rest of our lives I still would love you.”

“I know…”

No matter how little she could hear right now, it was still something. And Jane found herself blissful as she remained in Anna’s arms, the others swiftly joining them.

~~||~~||~~

Jane went on a walk.

She needed to step away from the others for a little bit, take some time for herself and think over everything. It had been hard to convince the others to let her go, but it had been easier now that her hearing was beginning to come back.

So Jane walked through the forest. Her elvish connection with nature still present.

(Over the past few centuries, elves had begun to live among humans, rising in the ranks as well. Even then, most of those elves maintained their connection with nature, commonly going back to their forest roots. Some abandoned that connection completely, such as Jane’s family along with Anne and Kat’s. Jane herself never did, and neither did Kat.)

Jane took in the trees and the fresh air. She couldn’t hear the animals as well as she used to, but it was alright. Simply seeing it all was still calming.

For Jane, it felt like the walk spanned hours, not out of boredom, but calmness. And she wanted to stay there forever, being perfectly honest.

(Jane couldn’t hear the growl coming from within the giant, thick plantlife around her. Nor the rushing footsteps racing frantically towards her.)

Usually, such silence in nature would be disturbing, and it really was for Jane. But then her brain would remind her about her hearing loss, exactly why it was all so quiet.

“MOVE!”

Jane yelled as someone slammed into her from the side, sending both of them to the ground. There was a roar and Jane could hear other people yelling as well.

After a split second of dizziness, Jane brought her head up to take in the scene.

Anna was above her, having been the one who tackled her. She was calling out for someone to do something but Jane couldn’t fully register what exactly had been said between her hearing and especially the thunderous roar that shook the clearing.

And that was when Jane saw exactly what had attacked her.

A beast with a lion’s body. Large dragon wings stretched from its back and into the air, flaring with anger. A spiked tail lashed back and forth. A human-like head with a mane stared back at her.

A manticore.

Jane paled at the sight. Manticores were deadly. In fact, they were known for feeding on humans especially. The beast was eyeing all of them, human and elf, hungrily.

And Jane realized exactly what kind of fate Anna had just rescued her from. That thought brought another… she hadn’t heard it coming.

Usually, she was one of the first to hear a beast coming along with Kat. She should have heard this monster trying to sneak up on her.

But she hadn’t.

She hadn’t heard it and now everyone was in danger. Jane felt she had caused this all because of one explosion.

Jane didn’t have time to think any further on it. She had to help the others all that she could.

(It hurt that they tried to protect her a little more than necessary. But Jane supposed she was also still injured from the explosion’s burn.)

As the light finally left the Manticore’s eyes and the queens around her let out breaths of relief, Jane could only join for a second before getting caught up in her anxious thoughts once again. Only now they were amplified.

They played on repeat.

Through the queens checking on her. Through heading back to camp. Through eating and settling in through the night. Through the night while she couldn’t sleep.

Before that incident, Jane had already been anxious over all of this.

She had already worried over everything that could go wrong with her new found hearing loss. Yes, she had regained some of it, she had a bit of hope. But that still didn’t stop every single thing that could go wrong.

(Ever since Henry, she began to look at the what if’s a bit too closely. Her anxiety only increased from there.)

What if she couldn’t hear another queen or a townsperson crying out for help. What if she couldn’t hear another queen requesting assistance in an attack or giving an order.

And being unable to hear the enemy. As showcased by the Manticore… well that one came true.

Her fears had just been proven to her.

And if that fear being proven meant the others could be proven, it meant this could all end in someone’s death.

And Jane hated this.

She hated the anxiety. She hated the fear. She hated the frustration. Most of all she hated her status as hard of hearing.

After all, that was the key point of all of this.

If she hadn’t let her temper her the better of her. If she hadn’t gotten caught up in that explosion. If she hadn’t lost most of her hearing, everything would be okay.

(Not really. Henry was still stronger than ever. They were still facing danger every day. But one thing would be okay.)

But she couldn’t fix it.

She was now stuck, holding the others back. She couldn’t hear what used to be regular voices as much more than a whisper. She was filled with anxiety and frustration with no way to release it.

(Several times, Jane considered abandoning the quest. Vanishing and going off to live in a town or a quaint cabin in the woods with nature. But she couldn’t bring herself to do that to her queens, her family, and definitely not her wife.)

And Jane didn’t know what to do anymore.

~~||~~||~~

Jane still treasured the happy moments.

No matter how little of the conversation she gathers or understands, she always treasured them. It was time with her queens, who were more family than anyone had ever been. She wanted to be happy for them, even if she wasn’t happy for herself.

She smiled and laughed along. Hiding frowns when she misses a crucial sentence or if a crowd washes away the other queens’ words.

So when there was an announcement of a fireworks show, Jane was actually rather excited.

The other queens looked excited or amused as well. Jane could remember when she was queen, the times the kingdom would hold a firework show. It had always looked so beautiful, the spark of colors in the night sky.

None of the queens could wait!

There was an excited flurry of chatter as the group found spots in the town’s square, awaiting the show. The crowd was catering as well and Jane’s mood dipped slightly as she was forced to strain even further to listen to her companions’ words.

But she was still excited for the show, she wasn’t about to let this sour the experience.

The first sparks, green, lit up the night sky with a resounding, ‘boom!’ The crowd let out gasps of awe and five of the queens were smiling happily as the show began. One wasn’t.

Right where she sat, Jane went still. She went rigid, sitting up straighter.

Even with her lower hearing, that boom still sounded so loud. Loud like a carriage hitting the ground (she had blacked out before it happened, but her mind simply loved to fill in blanks like that). Loud like an explosion right next to her—

“...—ne… Jane… Jane?”

Jane blinked as the world came back into focus. When had it gone out of focus? She was still sitting straight up, but her hands had come up to cover her ears. Ah, when had she started to hyperventilate?

Anna was looking at her, pure concern in her eyes. The other queens were there as well, worry in everyone’s gazes. None of the civilians around them seemed to notice.

Another ‘boom!’ rang through the air and Jane couldn’t stop the yelp that escaped her lips. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hid her face, hands still clasped over her ears. A smaller boom led to a whimper escaping her lips, her body trembling.

The explosion right next to her. The carriage crashing to the earth.

She gasped for breath, faintly hearing a voice but not registering their question. Did they even ask a question?

There was a moment of conversation that sounded so blurred and fogged, the nausea and panic attack making it sound so distant, the hands over her ears only increasing the effect.

Jane practically squeaked as she was pulled up into someone’s arms, into a bridal carry. She didn’t open her eyes or unicover her ears but the arms and the body felt so warm and like safety and home that she couldn’t help but press further into them.

Time didn’t seem to pass before Jane felt herself being placed on something soft. The warm body backing away from her. Jane curled back into a ball, head pressed against her knees as her body wracked with sobs and trembled and she just wished that person would come back.

A hand rested on her knee and Jane flinched. A voice calmly called her name and Jane slowly peeked up.

Anna.

“Hello, Liebling.” Anna said softly, but loud enough for Jane to hear. “Can you breathe with me?”

Jane shook her head but Anna gently spoke again. “Can you please try, Liebling? We’re all very worried about you.”

Jane’s gaze flickered around the room in half a second, barely taking in the other queens as she continued to hyperventilate. She slowly nodded and Anna’s smile never faded.

For several more minutes, Anna guided her through the breathing exercises, not letting go of her hands.

“Are you okay now?” Anna asked gently, noting how Jane closed her eyes and leaned back with a deep breath.

Jane nodded slowly. “I think so… we’re in an inn?”

“That’s right.” Anna gave her a smile. “We were watching the fireworks.”

Jane flinched and the mood became tense again. Anna moves to sit next to Jane, but didn’t touch her, wanting to let Jane come to her first if she was still in a panic.

“Do you feel better, Paloma?” Catalina asked from where she sat in a chair by the window. Outside, the fireworks were still going, bright flashes in the air. But Jane couldn’t hear them.

For a moment, her heart sank. Was her hearing gone again? But then again, she could hear the queens. Cathy noticed her confused look.

“I used a sound cancelling spell on the room.” The wizard said softly. “It was the noise, yes?”

Jane blinked, her body was still shaking. She tried to open her mouth to speak but nothing would come out still.

“You want to know how we knew, Liebling?” Anna asked gently, still next to Jane but not yet touching. Jane slowly nodded.

Catalina pursed her lips. “The explosion’s noise…”

“We didn’t really know what else it could be.” Kat explained. “So Cathy used the spell as a precaution.”

Jane looked at Cathy. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Cathy responded with a small smile.

“I’m just happy you’re feeling better. I’m sorry we dragged you to the fireworks.” Anna apologized.

“No!” Jane said quickly. “I wanted to go. I didn’t know I would panic like that…”

“Well, we’ll keep this trigger in mind for the future. Alright, Jane?” Catalina asked softly.

Jane frowned at her. “I don’t want to hold everyone back…”

“You wouldn’t do that at all.” Kat was the one who objected. “Safety first! Mental safety included.”

Jane stared at the others for a moment before slowly nodding. “Alright. Okay.”

Everyone smiled at her.

“I’ll keep the sound cancelling spell up.” Cathy told Jane before pulling out a book from her bag and settling on the bed. Shadow eagerly began to read over her shoulder. Kat joined Catalina by the window, watching the fireworks that were soon to come to an end.

Jane turned back to Anna and opened her arms. Anna lit up, quickly pulling Jane up into an embrace.

And that was the way they sat for the rest of the night.

As Jane drifted off, she hummed into Anna’s neck. “Thank you.”

“Of course, Liebling.”

~~||~~||~~

Anna was taking her on a date.

Usually Jane loved dates. It gave them an excuse to be happy and have some alone time from the others when they needed it. It was a get away from the quest, even if just for a few moments.

But today… she simply wasn’t in the best mindspace for it.

Her brain was still wrapped up in her anxiety and frustration. Her hearing was getting a little better but everything was still so quiet, and it was so frustrating!

And also anxiety inducing… her brain still kept thinking of everything that could go wrong!

But still, she tried her best to be happy. To show love for what Anna was doing taking her on this date.

You won’t cry, Jane told herself. You will not cry and you will enjoy this time with your wife. She wants to see you happy so be happy.

Gods, she loved her wife.

Anna took her on a walk through the town at first, the married couple holding hands as they looked over market stalls and shops.

Jane hid a wince every time something Anna said was muffled by the crowd around them.

Then they sat down in a restaurant, sharing a meal.

The respite from the crowd let Jane take a breath of relief and enjoy the time with Anna as the two talked about anything.

Then they exited the town, not going far. Anna wanted to take Jane on one of those nature walks and Jane felt her heart swell. This was something they commonly did together.

They were sitting together now, in a clearing and looking up at the orange sky above them. Things were calm. They had been pointing out constellations but had fallen into silence.

It was relaxed.

But Jane’s mind soon wrapped itself up in her worries. And she couldn’t stop the words that slipped from her mouth.

“Anna?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.”

At that, Anne turned to look at her fully, a frown etched on her features. “Sorry? What for?”

“I…” Jane’s resolve shattered. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…!”

Anna froze for a moment but was swiftly by Jane’s side as tears began to fall down her wife’s cheeks. “Liebling. It’s okay… it’s okay… there’s nothing to be sorry for. What are you sorry for, Jane?” Anna asked in that familiar gentle voice that worked to calm Jane almost immediately.

“My… my hearing…” Jane sobbed out.

“Your…?” Anna gave her a sad stare. “Oh, Liebling, there is absolutely nothing to apologize about.”

“But—!”

“Liebling. There’s no need to be sorry.” Anna leaned forward, holding Jane’s cheeks. “For one thing, it was an accident, all of it that bandit’s fault. For another, you are perfect the way you are. Your hearing doesn’t define you in my eyes.”

Jane opened her mouth to speak. But Anna continued. “And I would say the same thing if you were deaf all your life. If you were completely deaf right now, too.”

Jane could only stare at her.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Anna repeated, rubbing circles into Jane’s cheeks with her thumbs.

Jane couldn’t stop the tears that escaped her as she leaned further into the touch. Anna was quickly gathering her fully into her arms. The two didn’t know how long they sat there, but they were in their own world.

Jane still couldn’t understand how she had won the heart of such an amazing woman…

Eventually, Jane’s crying calmed and they backed up to face each other.

“Are you okay now?” Anna asked. “Your hearing doesn’t make you any less than the rest of us, you know that right?”

“I know... I don’t want to talk about it anymore… please?” Jane asked, now looking firmly to the ground.

Anna watched her for a moment before nodding slowly. “Alright… but please know that I’m here. I will always be here.”

“... I know.”

~~||~~||~~

Jane was crying

The thing was, Jane wasn’t quite sure why she was crying.

The group had been simply sitting in camp. Kat and Shadow were both at Cathy’s sides, reading over a book and laughing every so often. Catalina and Anna were talking and chuckling.

And Jane had been cooking the food when she had simply just… started to cry.

All of that anxiety had finally gotten to her.

But just as soon as she had started crying, the other queens jumped in, quick to help one of their own.

Kat and Anna sat on either side of her. Cathy was pulling the food from the fire, setting it aside for later. Shadow was simply watching Jane, worry clear. Catalina also stood, watching Jane with a calculating gaze.

“What’s wrong, Jane?” Kat asked gently, reaching a hand over to wipe away Jane’s tears.

“I’m sorry.”

Anna paused, recognizing that apology. “Liebling—!”

“No!” Jane shook her head. “I’m so sorry! It feels like my hearing is dragging you all down!”

“Why do you say that, Jane?” Cathy asked carefully, now next to them.

“Because it’s true… I’m no use on this quest now. Not with my hearing mostly gone.”

There was an immediate reaction. Everyone except Catalina began to object to Jane’s statement.

“Queens!” Catalina finally called.

The group stopped, looking to Catalina. The paladin kept her eye on Jane, moving so she was kneeling in front of the elf.

“Paloma, do you remember…” Catalina trailed off for a moment, a distant look in her eyes before she snapped herself back. “What you told me after the flogging?”

Jane stares. It was an unspoken rule that no one brought up the flogging unless Catalina did first or it was absolutely necessary. And both of those were extremely rare.

Catalina continued, the silence not deterring her. “No matter how many wounds you have. No matter how many scars you get from this. No matter how many tears you shed.” She met Jane’s eyes, just as the woman had done with her back then. “We will never toss you aside.”

Jane stared at her for a long moment, inhaling deeply before shaking her head.

“It’s not just that!” Jane managed to get out. “Yes, I fear that… but… but…”

“Breathe, Jane…” Cathy murmured from somewhere next to her and Kat and Anna both pressed a little closer to her, giving her a comforting warmth.

Jane kept her eyes on Catalina but her breathing soon calmed slightly. “What if something goes wrong? What if one of you cries for help but I can’t hear you? What if I get lost and can’t find any of you because I can’t hear you? What if I lose all my hearing again and I can’t hear you or… or anything?! What if… what…”

“It’s okay, Liebling.” Anna soothed, wrapping an arm around her. “Breath for me, okay?”

Catalina continued as Jane began to take shuddered, deep breaths. “I don’t know what it feels like… but I’m sure it hurts, hmmm?”

Jane numbly nodded, leaning further into Anna’s side and keeping her eyes on Catalina.

Catalina reached out and gently took Jane’s hands. “Jane… being hard of hearing, or even deaf, makes you no less capable. I promise. Your fears and anxiety are valid ones, for sure. But I know you’ll always figure out a way. You’ll always be there to save us if we need it. Just like we’ll be there for you.”

Jane stared at her for a long moment. Then, she was launching from Anna and Kat’s arms into Catalina’s. The paladin welcomed her, rubbing her back and whispering soothing reassurances. The others remain quiet but gathered in a huddle with the two, sharing their warmth and care.

Eventually, the group parted slightly. Everyone looked at Jane and the cleric shrunk slightly under the stares.

“Jane, please, come to us more. For your anxiety or just to talk. We’ll be there.” Kat stated.

“I made a vow, of course I’ll be there!” Anna tried to joke, followed by chuckles and giggles from the group.

“What do you think we can do to help, Jane?” Cathy asked, giving Jane a small smile.

Honestly, Jane didn’t know what they could do. But she managed to muster a response.

“Just… please be there? And understand?” She asked. That was all she really wanted from them right now.

“We’ll always be here, mum.” Kat said clearly, wrapping her arms around the woman.

“We’re not going anywhere.”

~~||~~||~~

And slowly, Jane became more confident. She began to accept her hearing the way it was now.

She was okay, she was going to be okay.

The other queens did everything they could to support her. Be it just being there, talking to her, helping her with the anxiety, or helping Jane adjust to her new hearing.

They were just there.

But them being there didn’t magically solve everything. As much as Jane wished it did.

Her anxiety still tugged at her mind. People still have quick glances to her newfound burn scar. People still had to yell sometimes to grab her attention.

She still had hearing loss.

It was still hard to communicate in large crowds, for instance. Over a distance was rather hard too.

Things like that still bothered Jane.

(And that ever looming fear of what if she lost all of her hearing again. If the world went silent.)

Unknown to her, the other queens had noticed, and it was a group of three that found a solution to help with that bit of her anxiety.

“Jane!”

The cleric looked up as a voice came into her hearing. Kat and Cathy were walking over, Shadow with them as well and as they came over, Jane spotted the cursed woman grinning.

“How’s it going?” Kat asked, moving to sit next to her.

Jane was immediately on defense. She loved her queens, but sometimes they got into... antics. “Well enough.”

“That’s good.” Cathy hummed, reaching back to pull a book from her backpack. “I think we found something you’ll be interested in…”

“Sign language?” Jane asked after a moment, looking over the cover.

“It’s a nonverbal language.” Cathy proceeded to explain, a familiar, excited glint in her eyes. “Using expressions and your body, mostly your hands and arms.”

Shadow looked just as curious as Cathy did. And Jane knew the cursed woman was thinking of whether or not it would be useful for her to communicate with as well.

“It’s kind of like the signs we do for spells sometimes!” Kat explained. “You know, some of the spells we use require a hand gesture!”

Cathy nodded. “An extra reassurance, I suppose I can call it. I also think it would simply be interesting to learn sign!”

“We know you’re worried about how you’ll communicate if you lose all of your hearing again.” Kat said with an almost sad smile. “And also that it’s hard for you to hear sometimes, still.”

Jane bit her lip. It was hard enough to learn two languages, elvish and english. And she didn’t want the other queens to go through with this just for her!

Cathy seemed to notice that thought and she shrugged. “And it would be nice to have a nonverbal communication for stealth.”

There was a stretch of silence before Jane slowly nodded, giving them a smile. “I suppose I wouldn’t be against it.”

Both women beamed and Shadow was practically buzzing with excitement.

“It will take a while to learn… there are multiple languages in sign language just like ours and we’ll, it is a new language to learn.” Cathy was nodding to herself, but she gave Jane a confident look. “But I’m sure we will manage.”

And they did. In their free time, they would occasionally study sign language.

Despite Jane’s worries, the cleric latched onto it pretty quickly. Kat and Cathy, being the studious queen’s they were, weren’t far behind. Catalina and Anna were just as eager to learn.

And when they spoke to Jane they began to try and sign at the same time, especially if it was over a longer distance.

It was a bit of a struggle for Shadow to learn. After all, her hands formed what looked like shadow puppets more than anything. But the shadow definitely tried her best and Jane was thankful for the attempts.

(Just like the others, Shadow has done a lot for her. Jane could recall one time when she had wandered off, not wanting to wake Anna as she cried in the middle of the night. She had looked over after a while of crying and found Shadow by her side, and when Jane drifted off, Shadow remained there until she woke up.

And when Anne was freed, one of the first things she had done with Jane, was to sign. Jane didn’t think either of their smiles could stretch any wider.)

And while it was for Jane, and the excuse Cathy used was just that, an excuse, it turned out that it did come in hand for stealth.

When they had to be silent while sneaking across rooms and the like. It was harder when they could only barely see each other, of course, but it usually came in handy.

Still, the queens preferred to see it as a language rather than a tool.

And Jane was happy to simply have another reassurance and another way of communicating. And not just with the queens, with others with similar hearing problems like hers that they could meet during their quest.

~~||~~||~~

Jane’s hearing never returned to normal.

Her left ear stayed almost completely deaf, only the faintest whisper of sound being heard in that ear. Her right returned to what she assumed to be around the hearing level of a human’s.

But it was alright, the cleric realized.

She wasn’t any less of a person. She was still Jane Seymour.

She was just as capable as the others. She could still fight, she could still do what normal people can do.

She was simply a little different.

And Jane’s proud of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a bit worried about this one because of the hard of hearing topic. I’ve never written a hard of hearing or even deaf character. Especially not one who lost it after years of being able to hear better than even humans (that probably leads to a lot of frustration, something I tried to focus on with Jane, but her anxiety was more of the focus when it came to that).
> 
> So if I got anything wrong, please tell me! Deafness, spelling, anything at all!


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